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What is a NICU? I had no clue

Dear Pregnant Me:

A year and a half ago, February, 2012, you just found out you were 5-6 weeks pregnant.  You were scared, nervous, sad, happy, excited, and nervous all over again.  You’re a naturally paranoid person, so your first online search wasn’t for “what the baby needs” or “what to expect in the first trimester”, it was “what can go wrong during child birth?”  

Here are some things a NICU mom wishes she knew:

      1)      It is not what can go wrong during child birth, it’s what can go wrong during a pregnancy

  Pre-Eclampsia

  HELLP

  Placental Abruption

  Miscarriage

  Stillborn

      2)      How can I prevent a premature birth

   You can’t!

      3)      What is a NICU

   Neonatal Intensive Care Unit; specialty care pediatric units, usually for premature babies, and   sometimes for full-term babies with issues. Go take a tour

      4)      How early can a baby be born and survive

   Earliest one known is 22 weeks

      5)      What kind of life will this baby lead if they are born ___ early

   You never know!  They can be perfectly healthy, or they can have brain bleeds, CP, rely on O2, etc.

   
      6)      What will the baby look like

   Depending on how early, your baby may have a transparent layer of “skin”; you will be able to see   the heart beating, and the veins under the skin.  He or she may have hair all over their face, no lips, and their ears will have no cartilage

      7)      What will the baby act like

   They will sleep on their back, on their bellies, with their arms up, and down.. they will move all around, or be very still.  They will try and open their eyes, which will be completely black; they will open and close their hands, yawn, cry, and feel pain

      8)      What will be expected of me

   Nothing will be expected.  The nurses will offer if you want to take the baby’s temperature, change their diaper, hold a hand over the baby to calm them down; you will learn all of the ticks and beeps, all of the machines, and all of the numbers, but in your own time.  They will ask if you want to hold them, and then tell you that today is not a good day for them to be held.  You are expected to be strong, you’re expected to cry.

      9)      Will I be strong

   And for how long will I remain strong?  Am I not normal if I don’t cry?  I got upset once a week or 2 after my daughter was born when she was crying, and I couldn’t do anything to help her.  I was mad at myself for doing this to her, and I just wanted to go home.

      10)   How long is the average stay for a baby born ___ early

  Mine was 117 days.  Some are 100 days, some are 6 months.  Some are born at 28 weeks, and leave 4-5 weeks later!

      11)   Where will I live during this time

   Check with your hospital social worker; there may be a Ronald McDonald nearby, you may be able to stay in the NICU if there are individual rooms for your babies, or you might have to travel back and forth

   
      12)   How much will it cost

  Thousands of dollars each day.  Check with your social worker for any programs to help, such as SSI, your local insurance (MaineCare for me), WIC programs, etc.

      13)   What kinds of surgeries might this baby need

   They might need heart surgery, brain surgery, eye surgery, or none at all

      14)   What are all of the IVs sticking out my baby’s hand, arm, foot, head…

   The IVs are feeding your baby with necessary fluids for them to survive.  An IV can only last for 2-3 days, so they will need to restick your baby’s arm, leg, or even head, every time.  Sometimes, a PICC line is used instead, which can last weeks instead of days.

      15)   What are these instruments/tools called, and used for

   Pulse, Oxygen, Respiratory, IV, CPAP, etc…  wires, tubes, nasal cannulas, and more wires

  
      16)   What do these buzzing alarms mean, and will I ever get used to them

   Each notification has a different tone.  Beep beep, your baby’s oxygen or respiratory lead has come off, it needs to be fixed, but don’t panic; look at your baby, she is fine.  BEEP, your baby has dipped in respiratory levels but most likely just forgot to breathe for a few seconds; it should start coming back up any time soon.  BEEP BEEP BEEP, ok she still is forgetting to breathe, somebody remind her.

   
      17)   When the nurses don’t come running when one of those alarms go off, can I freak out

   The nurses know what they are doing.  If an alarm goes off and it’s important, they will be there.

      18)   Is it ok to take a break, go for a walk, go to the beach, go home…

   YES

      19)   What types of questions should I ask the doctors and nurses

   Anything.  They are there for you and your baby.

20)  The one that I still struggle with... should I work?
    I didn't, and I wish I did.. at least part time.  That's a lot of money to make up/lose, and a lot of bills still to be paid every month.  But, some people did work and they wish they hadn't.  They wanted to be at the hospital with their baby.  Make the choice that is best for you, and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.

Crossfit Pregnant mom Commentors 2

On a side note, not relating to losing babies
1) Mind your own business
2) Stop feeling SO free to judge other people, especially other women's pregnancies
3) You are not a doctor
4) She was 8.5 months pregnant, obviously has had a successful healthy pregnancy, so far, and had 2 prior to this as well.  I think she knows what she's doing, and so do HER doctors.
5) Women who are in shape, weight-lifters, athletes, etc.. are very aware of their body, their abilities, limitations, and ANY changes that they feel relating to their health
6) Yeah, mind your own business again.. unless it's a cocaine using, cigarette smoking pregnant mom- then feel free!!


To Crossfit Pregnant Mom Commentors

To Crossfit "pregnant mom" Commentors

"“This is why CrossFit is horrible. No one knows what they're doing. This is a good way to lose your baby,” wrote Facebook user Evan Kennedy, a physical therapist."
Source: http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/should-pregnant-women-be-weightlifting---200459884.html


1) I did NOT exercise when I was pregnant
2) I almost lost my baby


The End


On a Side Note.... Crossfit Pregnant Mom Commentors 2


Refer to the following posts to observe my 23 week premature baby that I had while not working out:
Adalyn's 1st Year Video
Life in the NICU/CCN

Happy 1st Birthday, Adalyn!

Allowing Kids to be Kids

A few years ago, my mom and I were at a performance (I’m not sure what, exactly), and there were some kids running up and down the aisles.  They were probably no older than 5 years old, laughing and playing around in-between shows.  Everybody around us was happily enjoying them, and there were no parents telling them to sit down or to “shh!”  My mom mentioned how when I was younger, she wishes that she would have let me do that.  To let kids be kids is one of the hardest struggles a parent might face in a public place.

On a visit to an appointment a couple weeks ago, there was a little boy walking around and playing quietly, not bothering the only 2 other people in the room.  His mother told him to sit down and stop making so much noise.  He did.  Then, he and his brother started telling jokes and messing around in their chairs.  She told them a little bit louder to sit down and be quiet.  Saying “shh” over and over again, is louder and more annoying than a kid laughing and playing around.  And many people agree with me on this when we’re out in places and it happens.  My daughter is still a baby, so I don’t know how I’ll react to her when she’s older in this type of situation, but I hope that I allow her to act her age and be silly as long as she’s not being rude.  They’re kids, they know silliness and happiness.  Stress, being rude, still, quiet, and stripped of their fun and innocence is worse to me than a 4 year old standing up and playing in her chair during previews at a theater.

I Support Breastfeeding, But... Part 2

   Breastmilk has always been, and will always be, the most pure natural form of the greatest nutrition available for any baby or toddler.  The immunity system that it offers to strengthen, the nutrition to help them grow, the connection that breastfeeding creates between son or daughter and mother.  There is no replacing the value of the milk, and I'm sure that others will agree no replacing the feeling of that special bond with your infant.  
  I never got to experience that.  As I explained in my other parenting blogs, my daughter was born 4 months early around 24 weeks gestation, and had a feeding tube through her mouth, and then her nose, for almost the entire 4 months.  I pumped, every day, as often as I could.  There were distractions, I'm sure there was internal stress, and there were times when I forgot to eat or drink water.  I feel guilty every day about not trying harder to produce more, but my breastmilk stopped coming in after about 2 months.  After this, I luckily had a stockpile from the beginning when I was overproducing, that lasted my daughter another 2 weeks.  I tried power pumping, I tried oatmeal and mother's milk, and then as a last resort, I tried pumping every 2 hours for 20 minutes for 24 hours.  Each time, getting nothing.  
   I do not feel judged about bottle feeding in my personal life; most of the people that I know with babies are bottle feeding.  But with the world as viral as it is, there is so much support right now in the communities that I'm involved in (Raising Natural Kids, with organic foods, medicines, etc... that is the type of person that I am), so in a way I feel attacked when people express their actual hatred for mothers who bottle feed, or don't try to breastfeed, etc.  Yes, I said hatred for it.  I have seen posts that stated how they don't think that mothers who bottle feed are good mothers, love their babies enough, and so on.  It is one thing to support breastfeeding, it's another to attack people that don't.

To see my daughter's journey through the NICU, please see the Parenting section of my blog for pictures and other stories