What is a NICU? I had no clue

Dear Pregnant Me:

A year and a half ago, February, 2012, you just found out you were 5-6 weeks pregnant.  You were scared, nervous, sad, happy, excited, and nervous all over again.  You’re a naturally paranoid person, so your first online search wasn’t for “what the baby needs” or “what to expect in the first trimester”, it was “what can go wrong during child birth?”  

Here are some things a NICU mom wishes she knew:

      1)      It is not what can go wrong during child birth, it’s what can go wrong during a pregnancy

  Pre-Eclampsia

  HELLP

  Placental Abruption

  Miscarriage

  Stillborn

      2)      How can I prevent a premature birth

   You can’t!

      3)      What is a NICU

   Neonatal Intensive Care Unit; specialty care pediatric units, usually for premature babies, and   sometimes for full-term babies with issues. Go take a tour

      4)      How early can a baby be born and survive

   Earliest one known is 22 weeks

      5)      What kind of life will this baby lead if they are born ___ early

   You never know!  They can be perfectly healthy, or they can have brain bleeds, CP, rely on O2, etc.

   
      6)      What will the baby look like

   Depending on how early, your baby may have a transparent layer of “skin”; you will be able to see   the heart beating, and the veins under the skin.  He or she may have hair all over their face, no lips, and their ears will have no cartilage

      7)      What will the baby act like

   They will sleep on their back, on their bellies, with their arms up, and down.. they will move all around, or be very still.  They will try and open their eyes, which will be completely black; they will open and close their hands, yawn, cry, and feel pain

      8)      What will be expected of me

   Nothing will be expected.  The nurses will offer if you want to take the baby’s temperature, change their diaper, hold a hand over the baby to calm them down; you will learn all of the ticks and beeps, all of the machines, and all of the numbers, but in your own time.  They will ask if you want to hold them, and then tell you that today is not a good day for them to be held.  You are expected to be strong, you’re expected to cry.

      9)      Will I be strong

   And for how long will I remain strong?  Am I not normal if I don’t cry?  I got upset once a week or 2 after my daughter was born when she was crying, and I couldn’t do anything to help her.  I was mad at myself for doing this to her, and I just wanted to go home.

      10)   How long is the average stay for a baby born ___ early

  Mine was 117 days.  Some are 100 days, some are 6 months.  Some are born at 28 weeks, and leave 4-5 weeks later!

      11)   Where will I live during this time

   Check with your hospital social worker; there may be a Ronald McDonald nearby, you may be able to stay in the NICU if there are individual rooms for your babies, or you might have to travel back and forth

   
      12)   How much will it cost

  Thousands of dollars each day.  Check with your social worker for any programs to help, such as SSI, your local insurance (MaineCare for me), WIC programs, etc.

      13)   What kinds of surgeries might this baby need

   They might need heart surgery, brain surgery, eye surgery, or none at all

      14)   What are all of the IVs sticking out my baby’s hand, arm, foot, head…

   The IVs are feeding your baby with necessary fluids for them to survive.  An IV can only last for 2-3 days, so they will need to restick your baby’s arm, leg, or even head, every time.  Sometimes, a PICC line is used instead, which can last weeks instead of days.

      15)   What are these instruments/tools called, and used for

   Pulse, Oxygen, Respiratory, IV, CPAP, etc…  wires, tubes, nasal cannulas, and more wires

  
      16)   What do these buzzing alarms mean, and will I ever get used to them

   Each notification has a different tone.  Beep beep, your baby’s oxygen or respiratory lead has come off, it needs to be fixed, but don’t panic; look at your baby, she is fine.  BEEP, your baby has dipped in respiratory levels but most likely just forgot to breathe for a few seconds; it should start coming back up any time soon.  BEEP BEEP BEEP, ok she still is forgetting to breathe, somebody remind her.

   
      17)   When the nurses don’t come running when one of those alarms go off, can I freak out

   The nurses know what they are doing.  If an alarm goes off and it’s important, they will be there.

      18)   Is it ok to take a break, go for a walk, go to the beach, go home…

   YES

      19)   What types of questions should I ask the doctors and nurses

   Anything.  They are there for you and your baby.

20)  The one that I still struggle with... should I work?
    I didn't, and I wish I did.. at least part time.  That's a lot of money to make up/lose, and a lot of bills still to be paid every month.  But, some people did work and they wish they hadn't.  They wanted to be at the hospital with their baby.  Make the choice that is best for you, and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.