Catching Fireflies: February 2013

Monday, February 18, 2013

I Support Breastfeeding, But... Part 2

   Breastmilk has always been, and will always be, the most pure natural form of the greatest nutrition available for any baby or toddler. The immunity system that it offers to strengthen, the nutrition to help them grow, the connection that breastfeeding creates between son or daughter and mother. There is no replacing the value of the milk, and I'm sure that others will agree no replacing the feeling of that special bond with your infant.
I never got to experience that. As I explained in my other parenting blogs, my daughter was born 4 months early around 24 weeks gestation, and had a feeding tube through her mouth, and then her nose, for almost the entire 4 months. I pumped, every day, as often as I could. There were distractions, I'm sure there was internal stress, and there were times when I forgot to eat or drink water. I feel guilty every day about not trying harder to produce more, but my breastmilk stopped coming in after about 2 months. After this, I luckily had a stockpile from the beginning when I was overproducing, that lasted my daughter another 2 weeks. I tried power pumping, I tried oatmeal and mother's milk, and then as a last resort, I tried pumping every 2 hours for 20 minutes for 24 hours. Each time, getting nothing.
   I do not feel judged about bottle feeding in my personal life; most of the people that I know with babies are bottle feeding. But with the world as viral as it is, there is so much support right now in the communities that I'm involved in (Raising Natural Kids, with organic foods, medicines, etc... that is the type of person that I am), so in a way I feel attacked when people express their actual hatred for mothers who bottle feed, or don't try to breastfeed, etc. Yes, I said hatred for it. I have seen posts that stated how they don't think that mothers who bottle feed are good mothers, love their babies enough, and so on. It is one thing to support breastfeeding, it's another to attack people that don't.

To see my daughter's journey through the NICU, please see the Parenting section of my blog for pictures and other stories

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I Support Breastfeeding, But...

REPLY TO: I am Not the Babysitter's Sh*t People Say...

How many breastfeeding moms out there have heard one (or all) of these comments?

By Bridget McGann

Isn’t she too old for that?
Aren’t YOU too old for that?
You’re gonna make him gay.
You’re gonna make her gay.
He’s gonna grow up to be a perv.

Those are just a few examples of questions that breastfeeding moms hear everywhere when family, friends, and strangers approach a baby, toddler, but mostly child, feeding. With social media, the support from Attachment Parenting, the increase in "natural" and organic products, and going back to basics (let me refer to home remodels here.. people are putting in CONCRETE counter-tops in place of granite or marble, and CORK floors in place of tile or hardwood!), women everywhere are beginning to embrace the natural process of breastfeeding. They are no longer ashamed, no longer private, and no longer limiting it to 1 years old. Mothers may not have been limiting prior to Facebook or Blogger, but it is more publicized; people are putting their pictures on the internet, of their babies eating from their breasts! Women used to cover up as a courtesy to others, now we consider it rude or offensive if somebody asks us if we want to cover up, or to please do so. Because it's natural, and people should be accepting of it... in parks, on a bus ride, on a very large picture on Time Magazine. I myself am one of those people, who finds it awkward when somebody is openly breastfeeding, or there's a picture of a 5 year old standing up feeding from his or her mother. I don't know anybody personally who was breastfed until those later stages of childhood, but if I was not transferred to a bottle before I was 2, I feel like I would have a very strange relationship with my mother. But, I don't consider myself a "normal" mother. I didn't feel connected to my baby while she was in my belly; I thought it was weird that someone was growing inside of me. Cool, but weird. I only made it to 24 weeks in my pregnancy, and was knocked out with anesthesia for an emergency c-section. I wasn't able to hold my daughter for 4 days after she was born. But I didn't feel the great need for it either, and for that I felt guilty. I wanted to hold her because I knew it was good for her, and because I knew I should want to, not because it would create a bond for me- which it didn't. She was supposed to "sat" higher on her oxygen during kangaroo care, but she struggled when I held her, and I had to put her back in her incubator. It was supposed to be automatic love between mother and child; when she started smiling at me, and responding to me with excitement that I was coming to pick her up... that's when the connection started for me. She was almost 7 months old. The first time that I tried breastfeeding, when she was 3 months, I had already run out of milk anyways, so the hope was that her latching on would bring back my supply. But it felt so unnatural- I felt like I was doing something to her without her permission. Somebody sucking on my boob, to put it plainly, felt like sexual assault because she had no say.
So, no, I am not a "normal" mother, with normal feelings and attachment, and I feel guilty every day about this, but I can't help who I am or how I feel. My love for people, even my daughter, grows with time and because of situations that occur such as her smiling at me, or starting to laugh.
So, in a very off topic round-about way of saying it... I support breastfeeding, but, to a certain extent.
I have never come across anybody in person who was actually breastfeeding a baby uncovered, but if I had, I probably either would have:
a) ignored it because I am not uncomfortable with that
b) asked if they needed something to cover up with... maybe they forgot theirs, and if I had forgotten mine, I would have been grateful for somebody asking!
c) offering them a piece of advice of where they may get more privacy... maybe they didn't know, and once again, I would have been grateful

If I came across somebody breastfeeding a child 3-10 years old, I still would have ignored it, but I would have felt very awkward and would have been thinking Wow, aren't they too old for that? I'm all for the nutritional value that it may add to kids in this age range, but I'm not comfortable with it. Pump the breastmilk and give it to them in a cup as a drink. If I ask you a question like "isn't he too old for that?" it's not meant to be negative towards you, it's mostly curiosity. Please don't take comments like this to heart unless they attack you- questions are natural; and feel good about the fact that they did ask you a question about it instead of just staring or talking behind your back!

See other Parenting Blogs: Catching Fireflies Parenting

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

1st Attempt at Making Cushions

Crafty, Do-It-Yourself, creative... 3 words that do NOT describe me! But, regardless, it does save a lot of money if you have the time. I don't have a lot of time, so it may take a while to complete, but here is Step 1 of making my own cushions for the dining room table. Any chairs that I was interested in were at least $50 each, and only came in sets of 4. I need 10 chairs, which means I would be spending at least $500... If I'm able to find chairs for less, without a cushion, and I can figure out how to make them myself, I should save HALF of that cost!

3" Foam, enough for more than 10 chairs: $40.00 at Mardens
10 yards of fabric: $40.00 at Mardens
Chairs: STILL NEED!