Dear Pregnant Me:
A year and a half ago, February, 2012, you just found out
you were 5-6 weeks pregnant. You were
scared, nervous, sad, happy, excited, and nervous all over again. You’re a naturally paranoid person, so your
first online search wasn’t for “what the baby needs” or “what to expect in the
first trimester”, it was “what can go wrong during child birth?”
Here are some things a NICU mom wishes she knew:
1)
It is not what can go wrong during child birth,
it’s what can go wrong during a pregnancy
Pre-Eclampsia
HELLP
Placental Abruption
Miscarriage
Stillborn
2)
How can I prevent a premature birth
You can’t!
3)
What is a NICU
Neonatal Intensive Care Unit; specialty
care pediatric units, usually for premature babies, and sometimes for full-term
babies with issues. Go take a tour
4)
How early can a baby be born and survive
Earliest one known is 22 weeks
5)
What kind of life will this baby lead if they
are born ___ early
You never know! They can be perfectly healthy, or they can
have brain bleeds, CP, rely on O2, etc.
6) What will the baby look like
Depending on how early, your baby may have
a transparent layer of “skin”; you will be able to see the heart beating, and the
veins under the skin. He or she may have
hair all over their face, no lips, and their ears will have no cartilage
7)
What will the baby act like
They will sleep on their back, on their
bellies, with their arms up, and down.. they will move all around, or be very
still. They will try and open their
eyes, which will be completely black; they will open and close their hands,
yawn, cry, and feel pain
8) What will be expected of me
Nothing will be expected. The nurses will offer if you want to take the
baby’s temperature, change their diaper, hold a hand over the baby to calm them
down; you will learn all of the ticks and beeps, all of the machines, and all
of the numbers, but in your own time.
They will ask if you want to hold them, and then tell you that today is
not a good day for them to be held. You
are expected to be strong, you’re expected to cry.
9) Will I be strong
And for how long will I remain strong? Am I not normal if I don’t cry? I got upset once a week or 2 after my
daughter was born when she was crying, and I couldn’t do anything to help
her. I was mad at myself for doing this
to her, and I just wanted to go home.
10) How long is the average stay for a baby born ___ early
Mine was 117 days. Some are 100 days, some are 6 months. Some are born at 28 weeks, and leave 4-5
weeks later!
11) Where will I live during this time
Check with your hospital social worker;
there may be a Ronald McDonald nearby, you may be able to stay in the NICU if
there are individual rooms for your babies, or you might have to travel back
and forth
12) How much will it cost
Thousands of dollars each day. Check with your social worker for any
programs to help, such as SSI, your local insurance (MaineCare for me), WIC
programs, etc.
13) What kinds of surgeries might this baby need
They might need heart surgery, brain
surgery, eye surgery, or none at all
14) What are all of the IVs sticking out my baby’s hand, arm, foot, head…
The IVs are feeding your baby with
necessary fluids for them to survive. An
IV can only last for 2-3 days, so they will need to restick your baby’s arm, leg,
or even head, every time. Sometimes, a
PICC line is used instead, which can last weeks instead of days.
15) What are these instruments/tools called, and used for
Pulse, Oxygen, Respiratory, IV, CPAP, etc… wires, tubes, nasal cannulas, and more wires
16) What do these buzzing alarms mean, and will I ever get used to them
Each notification has a different
tone. Beep beep, your baby’s oxygen or
respiratory lead has come off, it needs to be fixed, but don’t panic; look at
your baby, she is fine. BEEP, your baby
has dipped in respiratory levels but most likely just forgot to breathe for a
few seconds; it should start coming back up any time soon. BEEP BEEP BEEP, ok she still is forgetting to
breathe, somebody remind her.
17) When the nurses don’t come running when one of those alarms go off, can I freak out
The nurses know what they are doing. If an alarm goes off and it’s important, they
will be there.
18) Is it ok to take a break, go for a walk, go to the beach, go home…
YES
19) What types of questions should I ask the doctors and nurses
Anything.
They are there for you and your baby.
20) The one that I still struggle with... should I work?
I didn't, and I wish I did.. at least part time. That's a lot of money to make up/lose, and a lot of bills still to be paid every month. But, some people did work and they wish they hadn't. They wanted to be at the hospital with their baby. Make the choice that is best for you, and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.
20) The one that I still struggle with... should I work?
I didn't, and I wish I did.. at least part time. That's a lot of money to make up/lose, and a lot of bills still to be paid every month. But, some people did work and they wish they hadn't. They wanted to be at the hospital with their baby. Make the choice that is best for you, and don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.
